“Which is better? To love or be loved?“ That is a question that those in a romantic relationship will ask at some time of their love journey. Most of the time, we would prefer to believe that we have sufficient capacity to combine the two in such a manner that we may truly feel love.

A relationship always consists of two persons, from which, one always gives more than the other. One person is more flexible, gives in more often and is willing to make compromise, while the other strives to always be right and tries to impose a certain rhythm into the relationship. It’s a clear fact and it’s present in every situation and it can’t be dismissed. The reciprocity that we always wish for is actually a false reciprocity.

However, sometimes, because we really wish that everything would go smoothly, we forget to contradict, to lay out our opinion in the open, to be our own self and we become someone totally unrecognisable.

Moreover, love does not consist of changing someone so that they may fit our perfect picture, but it does involve finding someone that fits our personality and our requests. We choose to love rather than to be loved, because we know how it feels not to be loved and what's more, we have within ourselves the desire to be loved.

Even if the apparent solution is letting ourselves be loved, I don’t think we could live with ourselves or with the thought that our partner is not appreciated as he or she should be. It hurts us when our partner suffers. We love, maybe more than we should.

We love so we can live life to the maximum. We love holding the hope of real happiness in our hearts. We love and we’re not sorry for it. Love is not jealous, love is not envious, love does not cause pain and love should be pure.

There should be no room for selfishness in a relationship, neither room for playing with each other’s feelings. Yet, at times, we hurt each other in the dumbest ways possible. Sometimes we’re not careful with the one whom we love dearly and that can be tragic, because an upsetting thing, once said, cannot be taken back and that leaves indelible marks.

If we have loved each other the way we are supposed to, most of our problems would instantly melt. Love comes tied to trust, kindness, pleasant character and some other important things. These together could make a great difference. But it’s hard to get past our own selfishness and forgetting about our personal needs, to caring for the needs of others.

Even in romantic relationships we don’t always give or do what is best for our partner. It is wrong, yet, we still tend to do it. These kind of things need to change, because without love, nothing would be the same.

We should choose to love over being loved. It is not easy, but if we all did it, we would be giving and receiving at the same time. Remember, if you love, you will be loved.